Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. It means making good choices.
It’s a great way to enlarge your social circle and meet new people. You can easily meet as many as 25 prospective dates at a single event. However, whether you’re a speed-dating enthusiast or new to speed dating, there’s one thing everyone knows: you have very little time to meet a potential suitor. Having a smart arsenal of great speed dating questions is essential to mastering the art of speed dating. And yes, speed dating is an art form. But don't worry because we're going to give you all the tools you need to be the best speed dater at the table. You ever get tired of the time and energy it takes to find a good date? First dates require an enormous up front investment of time, energy.
Pushed for time? Sat through one too many dreadful blind dates? Can’t seem to find/meet new potential dates? Don’t like nightclubs anymore? Tired of hearing those silly one-liners and pickup lines? Why not try speed dating? Defined as an organized method for meeting potentially romantic partners in which participants get to evaluate one another, speed dating is less intimidating than meeting strangers in a bar or a local pub, and a lot safer.
It is known as a fast ‘n fun way for meeting an eligible date by entering a room full of potential partners who are also looking to date. It’s a great way to enlarge your social circle and meet new people. You can easily meet as many as 25 prospective dates at a single event. However, whether you’re a speed-dating enthusiast or new to speed dating, there’s one thing everyone knows: you have very little time to meet a potential suitor.
How can you really decide you want to date someone in a short period then? Well, by asking the right questions, of course. So, without further ado, let’s look at these speed-dating questions:
1. What Do You Do For Work?
You wouldn’t want to be with an unemployed man with no potential. Therefore, knowing his current employment status is important. It is also a good introductory question to spark a conversation. Besides, who knows he could be a high-end lawyer or the manager of your favorite restaurant. You never know!
2. Why Are You Single?
You can find out a lot about a person with this simple question! Was he a dominating individual that his woman could no longer stand? Was he victim of a cheating girlfriend? Has he been divorced recently? A simple question like this can get you both talking instantly.
3. Have You Ever Been Married?
You can skip this question, if the guy already stated that he’s been divorced. However, asking about marriage and getting to know a little about his past can help you figure out whether he’s the player kind of guy or the serious relationship type.
4. Do You Have Any Kids?
If you aren’t supportive of the idea of having kids, this might be a deal breaker for you. At the same time, it could disclose that he’s a family man. Therefore, you can feel assured that he’s looking for something serious.
5. If No, Do You Want Kids?
If the answer to the above question is no, do consider finding out whether or not he’s up for the challenge of having kids. If you are looking for a family guy, then this question could make it or break it for most women.
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6. How Old Are You?
This is an important question, as many people look to date a person who’s the same age. If he’s 45 and you’re 21, you might want to wait until the next guy comes to your table.
7. How Long Have You Lived In This City?
This is a good way to figure out a little about the person’s life. It could be that he’s recently moved from another exotic country or state you always wanted to visit or he’s a native of the land.
8. What Do You Do For Fun?
This is a good question to figure out whether you two are a match. If he loves art, you love art – match! If he loves watching TV shows/movies, you do too – match! If you enjoy slow car rides and he loves fast cars – not a match.
9. Do You Have Any Pets?
If you are a pet lover, then this question might be crucial. Figure out whether or not he’s supportive of keeping pets. If so, then it’s a match made in heaven.
10. Do You Like To Explore New Places?
Perhaps he’s a homebody who would rather stay indoors and treat you to candlelight massagers and homemade dinner or maybe he’s the adventurous type that loves to travel and explore places. Best, he could be a balance of both.
11. What’s Something You Want To Know About Me?
Don’t hesitate on asking whether he wants to know something about you too. Maybe the questions he asks may give you a better opinion on how he is as a person.
12. What’s Your Favorite Movie?
Everybody has at least one favorite movie that they’ve watched countless of times. Feel free to ask him about the movie he loves. You may also get to know a lot about his personality. For instance, if he’s a funny guy but loves action movies. It shows he’s a dramatic person.
13. If You Could Have Dinner With A Famous Person, Who Would It Be?
If you don’t like asking boring questions, this is a fun way to spark an interesting conversation. Does he want to meet young Pamela Anderson or meet Morgan Freeman for his amazing personality?
14. What’s One Of Your Talents?
He could be an exceptional dancer or singer who will always keep you entertained even in the saddest of times. Perhaps he could be an artist or painter as well. You might never know!
15. Where’s One Place You Want To Visit?
This may give you an insight on whether he’s an adventurous person or not. Does he want to breathe in the majestic views of Iceland? Does he want to lure in the sun of the amazing beaches in Maldives?
16. Do You Like The City Or The Country?
With this question, you might get to know whether or not he loves to be energetic or busy or if he’s a laid-back individual.
17. How Would Your Friends Describe You?
Friends always know a person best. This is a great question to figure out what kind of guy he actually is and whether or not he can at least be a good friend, if not a date.
18. What’s Your Favorite Color?
Another interesting and fun question just to know about the “likes” of the guy.
19. What Is Your Dream Career?
Consider asking him about his dream job. Everyone has one subtle or wild fantasy about their dream job, but never actually get to do it.
20. Is There Anything In Particular You’re Passionate About?
You might find out that he’s a strong vocalist for women rights. Maybe he enjoys listening to music profoundly or he’s an avid traveler.
21. What’s Your Favorite Thing About Yourself?
This question gives you a little insight into how confident the person is. Most confident men will have a straight up answer to this question.
22. What’s Something You’d Change About Yourself?
Where there are good qualities, there are also bad. Ask him whether there is anything he would wish to change about himself. The answer might be a physical trait or something on a more personal and deeper level.
23. What’s Your Favorite Food?
If you actually like the guy, then this question is the deal breaker. It might eventually lead to you two making plans for a dinner date! Wouldn’t that be fun and exciting?
24. What’s Your Favorite Music?
Just like the taste in movies, knowing his favorite kind of music that can let you know whether he’s an energetic person or a little laid back.
25. What’s Something You Look For In A Woman?
This important question enables you to figure out whether or not the guy actually looks for personality traits rather than simple looks.
26. Do You Enjoy Reading?
A man who doesn’t mind picking up a good book for reading is a major turn on for some women. Ask him about his favorite book.
27. What’s The Craziest Thing You’ve Ever Done?
This is always an exciting question to ask. If the guy is talkative, he might have some interesting stories to share with you.
28. What Would You Do If You Won The Lottery?
This is another great question to spark an exciting debate/conversation. If the guy comes up with a better and more thrilling answer than buying a house or car and thinks outside of the box, he might just surprise you with his personality and charm.
29. If You Were Given Three Wishes, What Would You Wish For?
Everyone has a particular fantasy or wish they’ve always wanted to come true. Don’t hesitate on what that would be for your guy.
30. What’s The Worst Pickup Line You’ve Ever Heard?
Speed dating isn’t all about asking serious questions. It’s about give yourself a laugh and lightening up your mood. So, don’t hesitate on being a little flirtatious.
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31. What’s The Best Joke You’ve Ever Heard?
A funny guy is always a blessing. When the jokes come naturally, it’s even better. However, if there is an awkward tension between you two. The best way to lighten up the mood is to get you two laughing at a funny joke.
32. Do You Like To Do DIY Projects?
A man who likes/enjoys doing things himself and isn’t hesitant on exploring his creative and brainy side is an automatic winner for any women. There is nothing more turning on than watching a man put something together with his own hands.
33. What Kind Of Car Do You Drive?
You don’t want to come off as a woman digging for gold, so be careful not to ask this question very soon. Just ask it casually during an interesting conversation. Maybe you might find he’s quite the car enthusiast.
34. What’s The Most Embarrassing Thing That’s Ever Happened To You?
Feel free to pull this question out, if you feel there’s an awkward tension building up. Everybody has an interesting and embarrassing story to share. It is also a good way to get you giggling.
35. What’s Your Worst Habit?
It’s good to know these things before you feel a connection. If he has a habit of drinking alcohol, smoking, or any other bad habit – make sure to ask him about it.
36. Are You Pessimistic Or Optimistic?
If the person is pessimistic and so are you, it might form a good connection. However, its better you be with someone who’s a little positive about life. Otherwise, how can he cheer you up when low?
37. What Is Your Idea Of The Perfect Relationship?
This question is for sealing the deal, especially if you like the person a lot. Figure out what’s the ideal and perfect relationship for a guy. If he believes in honest communication, trustworthiness, and equality of chores, he’s the perfect kind. However, if he thinks the woman should do all the work. Forget about continuing anything.
Some Offbeat Questions To Break The Ice:
If you are tired of all the serious questions, it’s time to get a little funky. Break the ice with these fun and interesting questions:
- What is your favorite takeaway or to-go meal that you always eat?
- If you were a star or character in a movie, who would you play?
- What’s that one small thing that always ticks you off?
- Have you ever been told that you resemble someone famous?
- You have six months to live, what will you do first?
- What is your favorite month of the year and why?
- Is sexual compatibility very important to you?
- Who was your hero when you were a child?
- What makes you laugh like crazy?
- What do you like a woman wearing?
- Lazing on the beach or exploring?
- Do you have a party trick?
- Do you snore?
So, if you want your speed dating to succeed, don’t hesitate on asking these mixes of serious, fun and interesting questions. Of course, it would be even better if conversations flow naturally, but to get an insight into the person’s personality: pick a few questions to ask for your evening. However, make sure to ease these questions into conversations, without it feeling like an interview.
You are a 50-something woman and you are now contemplating the idea of dating someone. But a million thoughts cross your mind while you set out to do so. Dating is meant for the young – says who? John Galsworthy said, “Love has no age, no limit; and no death.” I say, just like love has no age, neither does dating! Much like the other things in life, meeting and dating new people in life should be a welcome thing, no matter your age. Although there are certain things you need to keep in mind while playing the dating game again if you have crossed the golden jubilee age line already. And yes, I agree that it is not an easy thing to do since you are apprehensive about a lot of things and also quite intimidated by the entire process of meeting, dating, and falling in love again. But if you have braved your thoughts and decided to give it a shot, here’s some dating advice for women over 50 that will do you some good.
If there is one person who comes to my mind when I think of an awesome 50-plus woman, it would be the character of Samantha Jones in the movie Sex and the City. The charm, charisma, and the self-confidence that she exudes are nothing short of amazing. She is an independent and gorgeous woman who knows what she wants from her men and gets exactly that. Of course, the woman she plays in the movie has more than love on her mind, but even if things go out of hand, she handles them with élan. She carries herself well and even after coming across various unpleasant men, she stands tall. But then again, not everyone can be like Samantha Jones and some dating tips need to be practiced when you are dating over 50.
Suggested read: 15 common dating mistakes women make that make or break a relationship
So, here are 12 essential pieces of dating advice for women to be kept in mind while dating over 50.
1. Don’t look for commitment immediately
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When you start dating over the age of 50, you are obviously looking for a mature relationship. Since you already took the big leap, you want it to work out well and have a future. But don’t look for commitment immediately because things like that take time. What the other person thinks about you is also very important. So, go with the flow and let things unravel by themselves.
2. Talk more about you (rather than your children or ex-husband/partner)
You might have a past behind you and that could have been wonderful. You might still miss your children and/or ex-husband/partner. Or you might want to talk about your children living with you. But, it would be a good thing to avoid such topics at the onset. Concentrate more on talking about yourself, and that is going to encourage the two of you to get to know each other better.
3. Don’t act like a mother
That tender, caring attitude of a mother with a certain amount of control-freakishness might have crept into your personality as a woman. But please don’t carry it along on a date! Remember the guy you are dating is also almost about your age. So, don’t give him life lessons on how to be disciplined and healthy. And even if he isn’t your age, it can be very irritating and might possibly ruin things for good!
4. Don’t pretend, be honest
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One of the major senior dating rules is to completely drop any pretensions. At this age and level of maturity, you shouldn’t pretend about any part of your personality. Be honest and expect the same from your date. Putting your cards on the table is the best bet now.
5. Dress and act your age
So, you thought the bright red dress that you once wore in your younger years will still woo the guys? Well, think again! Use your personality to impress your date. Look good, but don’t overdo your makeup or accessories – just look natural!
6. Don’t sound too desperate
You might be missing out on some action in your life right now, and might want to satisfy your romantic needs with someone soon. This is a normal human instinct, but it is wise not to be too expressive about it too soon. Being patient with such things is always advisable rather than regretting it later. Know each other through and through, and only then take it to the next level. When things ought to happen, they will without effort.
Suggested read: 15 dating struggles of socially awkward people
7. Take it slow when it comes to decisions
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One of my best pieces of dating advice for women is not to hurry when making decisions. Give yourself time to ponder upon the current situation, the relationship, and the consequences of taking a step further. You might have obligations and liabilities that mean as much to you as much as the relationship does at this point in time. Settle your issues with others and also with yourself. If someone really loves you, he will wait for you so that you don’t have to carry the excess baggage of your past into the future.
8. Don’t expect or demand too much
When it comes to relationships, it is always good to keep your expectations low at the beginning, before you know what direction the relationship will take. Also, demanding behavior is not much appreciated by your partner, especially when you have just started dating. I know it is difficult to settle with this fact, but believe me, in the long run it will be helpful and one fine day you might be pleasantly surprised!
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9. Don’t act too independent, let him do things for you
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Through the years, life has made you tough and now you are a strong and independent woman. But if you really want someone in your life at this point in time, you have to create space for him. You must let your guy do some things for you and let him show that he cares. It’s scary to let someone do that, I know, because you think what if it doesn’t work and he isn’t there tomorrow? But just for once, push those thoughts away and acknowledge the attention someone is willing to give you.
10. Accept them as they are
A person is the way they are because of their life experiences, which you may not be familiar with. If you are dating someone almost your age now, do not expect that you can change their lifestyle or behavior because that’s a part of their personality by now. You would not want anyone to change you, whether it is for better or worse, so why not accept them the way they are? Make yourself comfortable with each other’s way of life and you will have a happy time being together.
11. Listen to what they want or expect from you
Yes, communication is a two way street. So talk and let your partner know about yourself, your likes and dislikes, and what you expect out of the relationship. That will give you a clear picture of what they expect from you and you can then be prepared to plan and manage things better. My dating advice for women would be to listen, because listening is an appreciated art and helps solve a number of problems. So, let it make its way into your relationship and you will certainly enjoy the fruits later.
12. Don’t settle for less just because your over 50
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So, you think you are over 50 and now you will just take what you get. Here’s a big ‘no’ to that thought. No woman should ever settle for anything less than what she deserves. You are a beautiful woman, and you should understand that you deserve to be loved and respected. If the person you are with doesn’t value the person you are, then it’s clearly not worth it.
Suggested read: 10 reasons why younger men dating older women is totally rad
Your happiness depends a lot on how you define it. If you know what you want from life, even if you don’t get all of it, you know you have given your best. After crossing a certain threshold in life, priorities become very different. You value yourself more than anything else, and that makes you ready to take on the difficulties posed by the rest of your life. It is of course not necessary that everything will work out as you had planned. In fact, over 50 dating can be more challenging than those teenage romances (where you can blame everything on the age) or the mistakes you make in your 20s. Now you are entirely responsible for the choices that you make and when things get murky, you have to deal with them all by yourself. But hope is one thing that keeps us alive and trying never hurts. It may take a little time, but it will definitely be worth all the struggle and patience.
‘You will die a thousand times before you wake up feeling alive in your own skin. You will love all of the wrong hearts before you realize the strength in your own,’ (D. Antoinette Foy) is a good quote to keep in mind at this point in your life. So, all you beautiful women over 50, shed your inhibitions and with the help of the above dating tips, go date some beautiful men, who are just like you – beautiful inside and out!
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